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I thought about using something like “McNally’s Back” or “The Return of McNally”, but quite frankly, both of those titles are really dumb. Let’s just say rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated. My absence was part writer’s block, and part new girlfriend. Though writers block is easy to dismiss, sports typically becomes secondary in lieu of potential… well you know. Nevertheless I have returned, which will no doubt alleviate the worries of all four readers. Moving on…

Basketball-
Tony Parker won the MVP, and this is why I hate the NBA. What kind of a world do we live in where a French native is a finals MVP? This would never happen if Hunter S. Thompson were still alive. Not that he has direct control over such things, but damnit, he just wouldn’t let it happen. Well at least the series was exciting *insert sarcastic tone here*. Is it me, or have all the Spurs’ championships been the equivalent to watching Classic Curling Competitions (Only on VS)? Is the East just that non-competitive or are the Spurs just that mundane. Probably both, but that’s ok, with both Durant and Oden going to Western Conference teams, the East is due for a comeback in about 10 years. Which reminds me; let us take this moment to mourn the Celtics’ loss. *Ahem* Ha-ha Boston. All that time spent losing, just to lose where it counted the most. Normally I’d be an advocate for teams associated with Irish culture; too bad Boston fans are total Massholes…
Sadly, I don’t think Lebron is ever going to win a championship, at least not with the Cavaliers. I know he evidently made “LeLeap” or whatever transcendence that basketball players make, but he was unable to duplicate his performance in the finals. Just ask A-Rod what its like to have various impressive accolades without a ring. Probably doesn’t seem like much of a consolation. I detest people who are content with just “getting there”. It’s the sports equivalent of getting dumped and saying “Well it’s for the best”. Lebron is too good for the Cav’s to have potential for a high draft pick, which means he’ll probably never find his Pippen or Shaq while he is under the Cleveland organization. It’s really unfortunate because I actually like Lebron. Those “The Lebrons” commercials are hysterical. He’s not a whiny bitch like Kobe, and he doesn’t make those annoying T-Mobile commercials like Dwayne Wade. And he’s not French, although the name Lebron is a little suspect. These are the things that make a champion.

Hockey-
Ladies and Aquatic Mammals with Webbed Feet, may I present your 2007 Stanley Cup Champions! I was thrilled to see the Ducks win, if for no other reason then this was the first time since the Avs beat the Devils that the team I was favoring was the team to hoist the Cup. I just couldn’t get excited about Ottawa, although the H-A-S line was pretty entertaining throughout. Still, Ottawa beat Buffalo, which left a sour taste in my mouth. You kind of always hope the team that sends your team golfing are the ones to win it all. This transference occurs simply because you want to say your team was beaten by the best. Unless of course you team lost to the New Jersey Devils. Have I made enough compulsive anti-Devils comments at this point for readers to just assume their implication? This will save me some time in the future.
Although I enjoyed the Duck’s winning the Cup, I was a little disappointed in the series. 5 games isn’t very exciting, although each individual game was great to watch. Especially game 3, I enjoyed that one tremendously. I was also tremendously wasted at the time, which might account for some entertainment value. I hate to admit it, but I don’t particularly like Chris Pronger anymore. I understand that he is a defenseman, and a certain amount of physicality is a requisite for the position, but two playoff (PLAYOFFS? PLAYOFFS? Sorry random Mora moment) suspensions are two too many. There wasn’t much doubt as to the appropriateness of each suspension either, unless you’re a resident of Southern California. Scott Burnside put it best, he’s lucky he didn’t cost his team the championship. And I hate agreeing with Burnside, which just adds to my dislike of Pronger.

Before I get to Baseball, I would like to designate this part of the blog as a moment of silence for the recently incarcerated Paris Hilton.

Wait for it…

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! You know, its circumstances like these that really make me believe in a higher power. There’s enough media coverage to start calling this “The Simple Life: Prison Sentence”. I mean really, how great is this? All we’re missing is a Lindsey Lohan/Britney Spears telethon called “Live from Rehab: Free Paris Now!” I really believe society needs events like these, to remind us that there are a lot of stupid people out there, so live with caution.

Baseball-

The New York Yankees have won 9 straight. 9 Straight! That’s quite an accomplishment considering these particulars:

1) Their pitching staff is the most diluted and overworked in baseball.
2) Both John Sterling and Michael Kay are still employed, which is detrimental to team morale.
3) Their level of play has been wildly inconsistent, which is what you want with a 200 million dollar payroll.
4) George Steinbrenner has been eerily quiet, which leads me to believe he has either been killed or kidnapped.
5) Joe Torre is a flat out narcoleptic. Not that I don’t like Joe. Seriously though, get help Mr. Torre.

Are the Yankees finally turning things around? Possibly, although they did just get shut out by the Mets. I don’t know it’s too early to tell, too many question marks, too many geriatric starters. They have been playing some fantastic baseball lately, it’s really a shame they just can’t play the Pirates and the D-Backs for the rest of the regular season.