Catching Up...

Over the past few days, I’ve started approximately 4.6 blogs (Berger will appreciate that number), but never really developed the initiative to finish. Time constraint was a bit of a contributing factor, but realistically my problem is an inherent attention span of a seven year old newly diagnosed with ADD. Hmm, I wonder if atheists are still obligated to swear on the bible in court… Anyway, these 4.6 semi-complete blogs have now morphed into one super-blog, destined to unite all other blogs in a war against… wow too much caffeine. On that admission, here’s a collection of thoughts from the last couple of days…

Hockey- I hate to admit it, but I’ve been somewhat disappointed in the conference finals this year. The Anaheim-Detroit series started off rather enthrallingly, but I found game three to be disappointing. Playoff blowouts are only exciting if your preferential team is the one doing the… you thought I was going to say blowing, didn’t you? Seriously though, I do have a soft spot for the Ducks, if for no other reason than I have a penchant for randomly starting “quack…quack” chants at the most inopportune times.

As for the hit and suspension… one word: ouch. Soft spot or no, I don’t think Anaheim fans have an ethical leg to stand on here. That was undoubtedly a vicious hit. Add Scott Neidermayer for the exclamation point and you’ve got a Hanson Brothers highlight. I’m all for physical, “Eddie Shore old-time hockey” play and all, but you can’t go after a guy like that. Unless it’s a Devil, as I’m sure Colin Campbell would agree. As for boarding calls being subjective? The 15 stitches on Holstrom’s forehead make this a pretty objective call. Still, I must admit that a certain…exhilaration did take place the moment of the tag team check. I remember thinking, “Well about time, it’s four-nothing”.

The suspension was a little rough, but I really think this was the proper course of action. First, the game was 4-0 at that point, so throwing Pronger and R. Neidermayer out would have been the equivalent to a very effeminate slap on the wrist. This sends a much more dynamic message. Even so, the absence of Pronger does not cripple Anaheim’s defense. They still have Neidermayer with Giguere at the backstop, and maybe Giguere will get hot if he faces more shots. He really hasn’t show up yet for this series.
As for Buffalo-Ottawa, utterly disappointed. I knew Ottawa would make this a series, but I didn’t expect this. This feels worse than the Creed/Drago fight from Rocky IV. Although Buffalo has regained some life (that goal 9 seconds in was downright spectacular), 3 straight against a team who’s already given ample evidence that they can beat you seems a little improbable I mean, just what the hell happened? Only a cataclysmic event can explain Buffalo’s implosion. It’s a completely different team out there. Watching them play the Rangers (as hurtful as it was) was simply incredible. They’ve had flashes of that brilliance sporadically throughout the series, but have yet to grasp it long enough to have any effect. Game 4 was the longest they’ve been able to sustain their President Trophy stature, and that was still a bit too close. Still, there is hope. Games 5 and 7 are slated for Buffalo; all they need is one in Ottawa.

Basketball- Ok… admittedly so, I’m not much of a basketball fan. I mostly pay attention to post season hoops, and that more or less fills my quota for the year. I was however, a devout Knicks fan at one point and time. Sadly, the 1-2 punch of Spike Lee and Isaiah Thomas sort of disfigured that attachment. Yet imagine my surprise to discover that my connection had not been completely severed, as I found myself oddly indignant during the “Robert Horry hip checks Steve Nash” story. Clearly Horry feels that Nash should be playing the sport that Canadians are bred for. What bothers me most about this story is how incensed the commentators have been towards Stoudemier’s suspension for leaving the bench, yet not one mention of the Knicks-Heat debacle 10 years ago. My friend Scott pointed out that the Suns-Spurs incident was 10 years TO THE DAY of the Knicks-Heat fight. I’m sorry, but not only did that cost the Knick’s the series, it cost them a potential championship. They definitely could have beaten the Bulls that year. And yet again we have the “leaving the bench issue”, with no remembrance of the occurrence that originated the debate. And you know what? Because I am co-founder/contributor of this blog, I get to say this. Robert Horry, you’re a dick. You’re a tumbling, tumbling dickweed, and I hope Steve Nash gets those brothers from the Molson commercials to give you a Canadian Beat-down… whatever that entails.

Spider-Man 3- Ok, I’ve gotten this question from like 30 people so far, so I’ve decided to write about it here. No, 30 is not an exaggeration. See, I’m something of a Spider-Man fan (huge, haahuuge understatement) so people tend to be curious about my impression of the movie. Or course, this is probably to make fun of me for taking something so sophomoric, so seriously. Nevertheless, I’ve decided to formulate two perspectives. The first is that of the super-geek, namely the Spider-Man purist who believes the movies should follow the comics stringently. The second, is the objective movie viewer who judges the film on nothing more than entertainment value. Of course, this is how I saw the movie, but nobody believes that. I swear, I didn’t see it opening night, I’m not going to see it again in theaters, and I have grown up the past couple of years. Moving on…

My first complaint, which is intrinsic to both perspectives, is the over loaded, and often overworked plot. Way too much going on. The seven different sub-plots were at times detrimental to the movie, although it did help maintain a consistent pace. I could have done without the Mary-Jane jealousy, the majority of the Jazz Club scene, etc.. Honestly the Sand-man/Harry villains should have been a separate movie. The black costume/Venom plot is such a huge part of the Spider-Man mythos, it really deserved it’s own storyline.

Next observation. They NAILED the Venom costume, from both perspectives. But… but. Here comes the super-geek. TOPHER GRACE?!? The dorky whiny kid from “That 70’s Show”? Eddie Brock was the size of the governator in the steroid days, not some retro emo kid. Weak. Very, very weak. They didn’t even change his voice when the suit took over. I kept hearing the clueless poker player from Ocean’s 11 behind the toothy snarl.

have a question. When they make the toys from this movie, are they going to have “Emo Peter Parker”? With “Real Crying and Tears Action” and “Masochistic Damage”? I understand that what makes Spider-Man/Peter Parker so compelling is the very human angst of a theoretical super-human. That doesn’t mean he listens to Bright Eyes and Death Cab for Cutie. I liked the dichotomy theme they were going for, but they never seemed to perfect it.

This all being said, I did enjoy the movie. It’s still Spider-Man, it’s still Sam Raimi, and no matter how unpolished the movie seemed, the Bruce Campbell scene made the movie completely worth it. Still worth seeing, for both the geek and the movie watcher.