NFL sources have reported that Miami Dolphins and High Times Man of the Year running back Ricky Williams has tested positive for marijuana.
Wait for it...
Wait for it...
SURPRISE!!!!
Seriously, this is my surprise face. I mean, fucking duh. The only thing funnier about this situation is the fact that his Achilles heal is just pot. Not Coke. Not Heroin. Not Crunk Juice. Ricky Williams is addicted to weed.
This couldn't come at a better time for the Dolphins. They had a stellar draft day, what with the passing of Brady Quinn and all (although to be fair, they did pick up a decent quarterback in 2nd rounder John Beck. It's just that, well Beck is not Quinn). Dante Culpepper is set to have a tremendous season, all 6 games of it before he gets injured. Oh yeah, Nick Sabin just sent a "Thanks for all the Memories" post card from Alabama. Yep, things are great in Dolphin Country. Like my good friends in Buffalo say, "Squish the Fish". And yes I am aware that dolphins are not fish.
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"Squish The Fish" is proof that sometimes, sports come before intelligence. As a Western New Yorker, I don't know if I should say "You're welcome" or "I'm sorry" for that phrase...
But going over to the gist of this post: Ricky Williams tested positive for marijuana. Again. Hands up - who's surprised?
Didn't think so.
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